


Pickups And Pearl

by RandomRedneck



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Comedy, F/F, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomRedneck/pseuds/RandomRedneck
Summary: Connie tries flirting with the unflirtable.





	Pickups And Pearl

“You think she’s dead?”

 

Amethyst and Steven stared at a moping Connie, facedown on the couch.

 

“No, she’s breathing. I think she’s just depressed. They cancelled Under The Knife after all. That sure would put me in a mood.”

 

Connie turned her head to look at the two of them.

 

“No, it’s not because they cancelled Under The Knife. It’s because I struck out. Again.”

 

**An hour prior.**

“Hey, Pearl. Lovely day, isn’t it? Though nowhere near as lovely as you.”

 

Pearl glanced up from tinkering on Greg’s van for the billionth time.

 

“I wouldn’t call it lovely. It looks like it could rain later. Those clouds are pretty obvious indicators.”

 

Connie scratched her head, quickly getting back into her flirting mode.

 

“Yeah, it is a little grey. But the ocean sure is a pretty blue today. Like those wonderful eyes and that cute blush of yours.”

 

Pearl looked at the ocean, actually shuddering a little.

 

“Given my experiences with the ocean, I’m not exactly one of its biggest fans.”

 

Connie gritted her teeth.

 

“Yeah…um…oh. I must say, you’re looking sharp today. Sharper than your sword collection even.”

 

This got Pearls attention. 

 

“…Are you saying my swords are dull? That I’m not properly maintaining them?”

 

Connie resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands right there.

 

**Present time.**

“It’s like flirting with a wall! No matter what line I throw at her, she doesn’t bite. Heck, that sharpness line led to an impromptu sparring session to prove she maintained the sharpness of her swords!”

 

She sat up, her two pals sitting on either side of her.

 

“Buck up there, string bean. Pearl isn’t what you’d call easy to flirt with. Unless your name is Rose Quartz, it’s like hitting on a desk lamp.”

 

She gave her a friendly slap on the back.

 

“And I would know. Those lines didn’t work when I tried them either.”

 

Connie let that sink in for a moment. Before turning a wary eye to a nervous looking Steven.

 

“Steven? _Where_ exactly did you get those pick-up line from?”

 

Her pudgy pal hesitantly pointed at Amethyst.

 

“UGH!”

 

She rose from the couch, a strange fire in her eyes.

 

“Forget the lines! I’m gonna walk back down there and just ask her out!”

 

She marched out the door, Steven and Amethyst quickly bounding outside to watch from the patio. They waited in giddy excitement as Connie walked back up to the house.

“So, how did it go?”

 

Connie stood triumphant looking…before sulking and revealing…

 

“I got nervous and used the ‘Sweeter than candy’ line. She said she didn’t like candy. Or any food for that matter.”

 

Amethyst and Steven shook their heads, patting their friend on the shoulder.

 

“She’s hopeless.”


End file.
